Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Sartorial Elegante!

This chap was ejected from the Royal Society because he spent more time worrying about clothes and less time worrying about genuine scientific pursuits (sadly the Royal Society didn't see his genius for what it was - EVIL genius - and barely lived to rue the day (RUE it I say!)

Oh, and he's a ring-tailed possum - similar to a squirrel, but more marsupial-ly

Who is this? ...or rather, who WAS this? Captain Elijaphram Peabody-Cooke, the first 'man' to circumnavigate the Thames, and the last man to ever set foot on fabled Krakatoa (the less said about that the better, if you know what I mean).

During his much fabled, or rather, self-fabled, career he married no less than a dozen princesses, was knighted under dozen monarchies and set fire to his fair share of vagrant soothsayer, fortune-tellers and mystics (he had this 'thing' going on).

During the oft-disputed 'AFFAIR OF THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY', he distinguished himself somewhat dishonorably by slinking away from his burning ship on a raft made of rum-barrels lashed together with rigging-rope. Unfortunately the rum barrels were still full at the time, so the slinking very quickly turned into a lot of 'thrashing, coughing and something akin to the dog-paddle, but as re-imagined by an amputee bird dressed in tattered frock-coat and cuff-links.

Just before his very, very timely death at the hands of naturalized Barbary apes, Capt Peabody-Cooke was singing lead vocals in a Mozart cover-band that had only just been signed-on as the house-band in an opium den on the outskirts of Malacca.

After his death, many people reported sitings in such disparate places as Malacca, Penang and even Batu Pahat. In all likelihood these were simply sitings of the OTHER Capt Peabody-Cooke, who also happened to be an amputee Cockatoo with a liking for tattered frock-coats.

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